Audrey Burges – Medium

Audrey Burges

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The Belladonna Comedy

Excerpts from The Erotic Thriller I Wrote Despite My Overwhelming Discomfort with Sex Scenes

I invite you to fill in the blanks.

Sep 25, 2020

Excerpts from The Erotic Thriller I Wrote Despite My Overwhelming Discomfort with Sex Scenes

Sep 25, 2020

Published in
Slackjaw

Our Family’s Swimsuits Were Designed By World-Famous Architect Frank Gehry, And Innovation Is Worth…

Kids, we haven’t planned a getaway in ages, and I think we deserve an escape — it’s time to squish our toes into soft sand, breathe in the…

May 10, 2021

Our Family’s Swimsuits Were Designed By World-Famous Architect Frank Gehry, And Innovation Is Worth…

May 10, 2021

Published in
Greener Pastures Magazine

A Beginner’s Guide to Power Washers

You never know what you may find.

Apr 20, 2021

A Beginner’s Guide to Power Washers

Apr 20, 2021

Published in
Frazzled

Things You’re Still Shouting At Your Colleagues Over Zoom, or Shouting At Your Children Who Are…

“Can you hear me?”

Apr 14, 2021

Things You’re Still Shouting At Your Colleagues Over Zoom, or Shouting At Your Children Who Are…

Apr 14, 2021

Published in
The Belladonna Comedy

An Oral History of Saint Patrick by the Snakes He Banished From Ireland

The real story behind one saint’s anti-herpetological agenda

Mar 17, 2021

An Oral History of Saint Patrick by the Snakes He Banished From Ireland

Mar 17, 2021

Published in
The Belladonna Comedy

I Shall Not Run, Gingerbread Man, and I Have Absolutely No Interest in Catching You

My children can explain my anti-chasing platform.

Dec 10, 2020

I Shall Not Run, Gingerbread Man, and I Have Absolutely No Interest in Catching You

Dec 10, 2020

Published in
The Belladonna Comedy

Remarks by an Archaeologist Excavating Ruins, or by Your Dad While Clearing Out the Fridge for…

It’s really cramped in here.

Nov 24, 2020

Remarks by an Archaeologist Excavating Ruins, or by Your Dad While Clearing Out the Fridge for…

Nov 24, 2020

Published in
Slackjaw

Pilot Transcript For HGTV’s “Playhouse Hunters”

Three property choices for a forced playdate.

Nov 6, 2020

Pilot Transcript For HGTV’s “Playhouse Hunters”

Nov 6, 2020

Published in
The Belladonna Comedy

As This Neighborhood’s Oldest Rubber Yard Zombie, I Call for an End to Our Severed Arms Race

We lurch toward Halloween amidst gaping societal wounds.

Oct 20, 2020

As This Neighborhood’s Oldest Rubber Yard Zombie, I Call for an End to Our Severed Arms Race

Oct 20, 2020

Published in
Frazzled

Games My Children Have Invented While We’re Trying to Avoid the Hospital

Hot Dog Snake!

Oct 1, 2020

Games My Children Have Invented While We’re Trying to Avoid the Hospital

Oct 1, 2020

Audrey Burges

Audrey Burges

Author, THE MINISCULE MANSION OF MYRA MALONE (Berkley 2023); work in McSweeney’s, Belladonna, Slackjaw, & elsewhere. Twitter: @audrey_burges; audreyburges.com.

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